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Tips To Have Tough Money Conversations With Your Parents

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It is time to start having money conversations with your parents if you are working two jobs and feeling tired, stressed, and unmotivated. Helping your parents with money is not the only way to be helpful.

 

As I started having money conversations with my mom, I started to understand that in our culture, children were always expected to help their parents as soon as they had their first job. I mentioned to her how having a minimum wage job was unrealistic for me to help her and myself.

 

What happens if you do not have the conversations?

 

Working towards your goals has to stop. You cannot help your parents and build the life you desire because money cannot cover everyone. You will start focusing on your goals once you are burnt out, helping everyone else be comfortable.

 

It is difficult to enjoy the little things in life due to stress. Instead of you enjoying a beautiful sunset, you will focus on the negatives around you. You cannot relax because stress and worry are taking over.

 

It will lead you to resent your parents. At first, you will be so happy and feel it is your duty to help. Once you start feeling that you are not making progress on your goals, resentment will start to build.

 

It can lead you to feel more anxious about money. You start feeling that money is controlling you instead of using money as a tool to build a life that is in alignment with your values.

 

It will lead you to hide your accomplishments, so your family will not ask more from you. Maybe family won’t be your cheerleaders, but ensure that you have your core people who will cheer you on in life.

 

Here is what I want you to know:

 

Having money conversations is healthy! Your parents’ expectations on you to “help the family” come from what their parents taught them what help looked like.

 

Your parents are absolutely capable of pulling their own weight, but very often, they do not have the tools to navigate life in a different way. Here is where you come in!

 

Instead of helping them with money, let’s share the resources and tools for them to rise with us!

 

EVERYONE CAN WIN HERE WITHOUT FEELING STRESSED!

 

Here are five tips to help you have money conversations with your parents:

 

1. Mutually agree on a date and location: You want to give your family member a heads up on the conversation and make sure everyone is ready to receive information. Choose a place that is not the living room where often family unites to have difficult conversations. This conversation can be set up with a light and hopeful vision. Perhaps a picnic at a park or walk at the marina, a place where you and your parents are at ease.

 

2. Choose the frequency of check-in: Money conversations need to happen often. Having a regular check-in can mean that the first conversation does not have to be long and daunting. It allows you and your parents to process information and revisit conversations.

 

3. Approach conversation with curiosity: No one wants to be lectured! But what if you approach the conversation with curiosity about what a new approach can look like with money and how it can benefit you and your parents? Remember, this is about bringing up the family with YOU and working together.

 

4. Bring ideas and examples: Our parents have different views, but if you come up with resolutions and paint the picture with examples, they are more likely to believe you want to help them. Remember, they are getting money from you because they don’t know what else to do, and this is your way to help them see what other options are possible.

 

5. Set money boundaries: It is important to know what your money boundaries will be. There is a difference between being taken advantage of and a family willing to receive help so EVERYONE can rise.

 

When we work together:

 

  • I help you create a plan that works for you to reach your financial goals
  • I help you create options for your family and create dependency from you
  • I help you  have difficult conversations and set boundaries with your family to be able to get ahead

 

If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a sales call here.

 

During the sales call, you will share what you need help with your goals, I’ll share how I can help, and then decide if we are a fit to work together.

 

It would be an honor to be part of your journey!

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ABOUT AUTHOR
Orlenda Cortez

Welcome to my corner on the internet! I’m obsessed with using money as a tool because it led me to pay off $30K in consumer debt in a year and a half, helped me save $20K in nine months to have my dream wedding in Costa Rica and is helping me build the life I never saw my family experience. Now I want to help others do the same!

Orlenda Cortez
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