Does Retail Therapy Actually Work?

I know you are so used to going out shopping when you are feeling sad, stressed, or anxious. And you are now realizing that your credit card balance is increasing significantly, adding to the stress and anxiousness you are already feeling. But in the moment, it feels so good! And you work so hard, a reward is needed from time to time!

Let’s break down if retail therapy works or if it is just a quick fix:

What is retail therapy?

Retail therapy is when you go shopping to improve your mood or use it as a way to avoid feeling your emotions. Think of it as the modern equivalent of eating a pint of ice cream after a rough day, except this time, it involves swiping your card.

Retail therapy gives you dopamine, that chemical in your brain that makes you “feel good.”

That make-up or candles you just bought? They made you happy when you bought it. It feels like a solution at the moment, but it’s more like putting a band-aid on a deeper wound.

Why does retail therapy feel good (at the moment)?

You might feel like you are losing control of your everyday life, and shopping offers comfort. Choosing a “self-care day” after a long, difficult week might even feel very empowering. It seems like you are prioritizing yourself and caring for your well-being.

Here’s the thing: The happiness retail therapy gives you does not last.

When the dopamine fades, you start to feel guilt sink in. Then, you start second-guessing your purchases and realizing you overspent.

This is why retail therapy stops being therapeutic and starts being stressful.

Does retail therapy actually work?

Emotional spending turns into a cycle of guilt and financial stress. You start by shopping to make you feel better, but the stress starts again when you see that credit card balance or realize you did not need half of what you bought.

For me, this cycle hits close to home. I grew up in a toxic household, and when I was 17, I could not wait to leave my house and go off to college. College was my way out!

While in College, I began to overspend as a way to deal with my emotions from the aftermath of growing up in a toxic household. It also did not help that my college was right across a shopping mall!

So, every time I would feel sad or depressed, I would shop. Then, I started to buy plane tickets, and very quickly, I found myself in $30,000 of credit card debt. It took me 5 years to figure out how to pay that off! I could not deal with the stress and sleepless nights thinking about this debt.

I was getting eaten alive.

The temporary fix of shopping led to financial stress and darker days. I am all for treating yourself. But it’s important to do it not to hurt you later.

Healthier alternatives to retail therapy?

So, if retail therapy is making you feel worse after, what can you do instead?

Try some of these options:

1. Pause and reflect: Before making the purchase, ask yourself, “Am I buying this because I need it or because I’m trying to feel better?”. Sometimes, just pausing is enough to break the habit.
2. Journal your feelings: Writing down your emotions can help you process the emotions you are trying to mask with retail therapy. You will feel a deep sense of relief once the emotions leave your body and you put them onto paper.
3. Go to therapy: If you have never done therapy before, this will feel like such a big step to take. But I urge you to explore therapy when you are ready. For instance, talking about childhood trauma and triggers can free you from the heaviness you feel.
4. Move your body: Whether it’s a quick walk, yoga, or dancing in the living room, movement can do wonders for stress. Unleash those endorphins that your body is craving! Plus, you lose some calories while doing it. It’s a win-win!
5. Create a list of activities that bring you joy: When going through the emotions we do not want to feel, we often forget what brings us joy. When you are feeling your best, write everything that brings you joy, like a bubble bath, coloring, walking a doggy, etc. Many things bring you joy that are free.
6. Create a budget for dopamine: We all have those days! So why not just budget for it? Call it “Fun Money” and add a reasonable amount where you can still hit your money goals and have fun. Do not aim to be so restrictive when giving your money direction.
7. Treat yourself without spending: Light a candle, make yourself a fancy coffee at home, or binge-watch your favorite comfort show. Little moments of joy don’t have to cost a dime.

When retail therapy might be okay

The key here is to be intentional. Buying yourself a gift can be a way to celebrate or show yourself love.

Keep in mind:

• Set a budget beforehand so you do not overspend.
• Use cash to keep things under control.
• Ask yourself if the purchase aligns with your financial goals.

Retail therapy can be a treat, not a habit.

Retail therapy might give you a momentary boost, but it’s not a long-term fix. Real self-care is about listening to your body and what you need, whether that is rest, processing your emotions with a therapist, or just a little time to breathe.

Next time you are tempted to shop your stress away, ask yourself: What do I actually need right now? Chances are, it’s not something you can buy.

What’s your take on retail therapy? Does it work for you, or do you think it’s overrated?

Let me know in the comments; I’d love to hear your thoughts!