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I know how nerve-wracking moving states can be. And when you have kids, the stakes feel even higher.
It’s not just about packing boxes and finding a new home. We are talking about uprooting your family, adjusting to a new environment, and making sure your kids feel safe and supported through it all.
Whether you’re moving for a better job, a lower cost of living, or just a fresh start, here are five things every mom should know before making the big move:
1. Your Kids Will Have Big Feelings About It—And That’s Okay
You are excited about the move, but your kids might be on the fence. This makes complete sense because their thoughts are leaving behind friends, familiar places, and routines they are used to.
Expect a rollercoaster of emotions in one day, like excitement and tears. It is not that you are doing anything wrong, it’s just that younger kids might not fully understand what’s happening, and older kids could feel frustrated about leaving their close friends behind.
Give your kids space to process their emotions. Involve them about the move early on, answer their questions, and validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to be sad, nervous, or angry. But it is also important to remind them of the exciting parts of moving states, like the new adventures, new friends, and new opportunities.
Paint the picture for them! Bonus points if you look up activities your kids are into and what the new state has to offer. Visuals will go a long way with your kids, and see how their feelings shift.
Saving for a move doesn’t mean your kids have to be bored, here are 28 free things to do together.
2. Schools Can Make or Break Your Move
Finding the right school is important and a top priority for any mom. You might be excited for a better cost of living, the new job, or the family support you will have but having a bad school experience can easily overshadow all the excitement.
Research schools as early as possible. It is hard to get the vibe of the school if you are far away and don’t know anyone in the area. So, join local Facebook groups, ask other parents for feedback to help you make decisions, and visit the schools if you can.
Take into consideration what’s important to your family: diversity, class sizes, extracurriculars, or special programs.
If you’re moving mid-school year, reach out to the new school ahead of time to get the transition process started. Find out how credits transfer, what paperwork you need, and how they help new students adjust. The smoother the transition, the easier it’ll be on your kids.
If you’re considering public schools, check the school district boundaries before signing a lease or buying a home. You don’t want to find the perfect school only to realize you’re zoned out of it. Yikes!
3. Your Support System Will Change (And That’s Hard)
I did not say the move would be easy because leaving behind friends and family is one of the hardest parts of moving. And, when you have kids, it becomes even more difficult because of the support your village provides. Whether it’s grandparents who babysit, mom friends who help on tough days, or a school carpool you rely on, moving means starting over.
It is not impossible to rebuild in a new state but it will take time to rebuild your support system. Give yourself grace. You can start looking for mom groups, local community events, and kid-friendly places where you can meet new people. If you have family or close friends in your current state, plan visits and keep communication open so you don’t feel completely isolated. Trust me, it will feel lonely at first, but it is only temporary.
Apps like Meetup and Peanut are great for finding mom friends in a new city. Facebook parenting groups are also a goldmine for making local connections.
4. Cost of Living Can Surprise You
You might be moving because the cost of living is lower at your new state but don’t assume that a lower cost of living automatically means your expenses will drop across the board. Housing might be cheaper, but groceries, childcare, and even gas prices can vary significantly from state to state.
Before the move, you want to do the research as much as you can, from average utility costs to car insurance rates. If you’re moving to a state with different tax laws (hello, Texas, Washington, Nevada, and Florida with no state income tax!), consider how that affects your overall budget.
Make sure you have a new budget based on your future city’s cost of living before you move. This will help you prevent any financial surprises once you’re settled in.
5. The First Few Months Will Be Tough (But You’ll Get Through It)
No matter how much you plan, the first few months after a move will be an adjustment. You and your kids will be coping. You’ll miss familiar faces, your kids might struggle with homesickness, and there will be moments when you wonder if you made the right choice. That’s normal. So make sure you make room for big emotions. This is important because you do not want to ask yourself to push through. Sometimes, you just have to feel your emotions.
Give yourself and your kids time to settle in. Stick to routines that are familiar as much as possible, create new traditions that are exciting, and find things in your new city that bring you joy and laughter.
If your kids are having a hard time, create a jar with activities written on sticky notes so that when they are feeling sad, they can choose an activity to do that day. It can be filled with activities, ice cream shops, parks they can discover to start making memories and embrace new adventures.
You’ve Got This, Mama
This is your time to start again, to build something beautiful! Moving out of state is a big change, but not impossible. You will need patience, preparation as much as you can, and a little flexibility, you and your kids will adjust and thrive in your new home state.
Remember, you’re not alone. Every mom who has made a big move has felt the same nerves, doubts, and struggles. But give it some time, your new state will start to feel like home, and you’ll look back and see just how strong and resilient you really are.
And trust me, your kids will come around and enjoy this new adventure with you very shortly thereafter.
So take a deep breath, embrace the adventure, and know that you’ve got this!
Where are you planning to move to? Let me know in the comments how you are feeling about the move.
